The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating in Sobriety - The Discovery House Los Angeles CA
The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating in Sobriety

The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating in Sobriety

Whether single, married or somewhere in- between, sober dating and having a great time don’t have to be mutually exclusive from each other. Alcohol on the dating scene is primarily used to break down fears and inhibitions, concealing ourselves in dimly lit bars and behind drinks. Taking alcohol out of the situation means being more vulnerable to letting others in, getting to know each other (or beginning with a fresh start for long term couples) without blurred veils. Listed here are a few dos and don’ts to give you momentum out of the house and toward new adventures.

Do be Honest

While it wouldn’t be appropriate to divulge your life story on the first date, it is important to be honest about not drinking. Keep it simple and light, perhaps mentioning when the waiter offers wine “Thank you, but I don’t drink.” For long-term couples, it may helpful to designate certain off limits old haunts which wouldn’t suit a date night anymore.  

Don’t Stay in Uncomfortable Situations

Always have a way out. Take your own car; meet at a coffee shop instead of a bar. Don’t be afraid to pull the plug if the date is going all wrong, it won’t be the worst thing that could happen, and sobriety should always come first.

Do Try New Things

Meet in the day, be willing to act like a kid again. Go Ice-skating or kayaking, something interactive and enjoyable. Find romance outside of the candlelit stereotype- in a museum or grazing the swap meet, new ways to discover each other.

Don’t be too Hard on Yourself 

Anything new is bound to be uncomfortable at first, but dating sober – like all other aspects of sobriety – will be more fulfilling with time.

Dating sober permits couples a richer experience bonding and building a relationship that will have a better chance at longevity than those formed over drinks at a bar. When you learn to become friends with someone, learn to laugh with each other, you give yourself an opportunity to grow and develop relationships based on honesty and trust, and sincere enjoyment of being together.